Lord of the Wank

By changing the word "Dance" to the word "Wank", the song takes on a different meaning. We've also changed a few other lyrics to help it make a bit more sense. And to be funnier.

I wanked in the morning when the world was young
I wanked in the moon and the stars and the sun
I came down from heaven and I wanked on the earth
At Bethlehem I had my first

Wank, wank, wherever you may be
I am the lord of the wanks, said he
And I lead you all, wherever you may be
And I lead you all in the wank, said he

I wanked for the scribes and the Pharisees
They wouldn't wank, they wouldn't follow me
I wanked for the fishermen James and John
They came with me and the wank went on

Wank, wank, wherever you may be
I am the lord of the wanks, said he
And I lead you all, wherever you may be
And I lead you all in the wank, said he

I wanked on the Sabbath and I came on the lame
The holy people said it was a shame
They ripped, and they stripped, and they hung me well
Left me there on the cross to smell

Wank, wank, wherever you may be
I am the lord of the wanks, said he
And I lead you all, wherever you may be
And I lead you all in the wank, said he

I wanked on a Friday when the world turned black
It's hard to wank with a bummer on your back
They buried my body, they thought I was gone
But I am the wank, and the wank goes on

Wank, wank, wherever you may be
I am the lord of the wanks, said he
And I lead you all, wherever you may be
And I lead you all in the wank, said he

They cut me down and I spunked up high
I am the life that will never, never die
I'll wank for you if you'll wank for me
I am the Lord of the wank, said he

Wank, wank, wherever you may be
I am the lord of the wanks, said he
And I lead you all, wherever you may be
And I lead you all in the wank, said he

Wank, wank, everybody wank
Wank, wank, everybody wank
Wank, wank, everybody wank...