What Jesus really said...

So what are the three things that JC really said on the cross?

The most accurate record is probably the Gospel of John, as he was actually there, right at the front, with Jesus' mother Mary. In John 19:26 Jesus speaks directly to them:
"Dear woman, here is your son," 27and to the disciple, "Here is your mother."
He's telling John to go live with Mary as Mother and son, which they apparently do.

John, as well as writing his own gospel, also wrote the three "John" epistles and, our fave, the Book of Revelation.

So back to what Jesus said.

As well as the line he says to John and Mary, he says "I am thirsty" and gets a sponge:

28Later, knowing that all was now completed, and so that the Scripture would be fulfilled, Jesus said, "I am thirsty." 29A jar of wine vinegar was there, so they soaked a sponge in it, put the sponge on a stalk of the hyssop plant, and lifted it to Jesus' lips.

He then gives up the ghost, as it were:

30When he had received the drink, Jesus said, "It is finished." With that, he bowed his head and gave up his spirit.

"It is finished" in Latin is "Consummatum est".
(this was quoted by Marlowe in Doctor Faustus.)

Matthew and Mark both tell us that he cried out, they just don't say what he cried.

Matthew 50:
50And when Jesus had cried out again in a loud voice, he gave up his spirit.

Mark 37:
With a loud cry, Jesus breathed his last.

They both tell us earlier that he cries "Eloi, eloi..."

Matthew 27:46
About the ninth hour Jesus cried out in a loud voice, "Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani?"—which means, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?"

Mark 15:34
And at the ninth hour Jesus cried out in a loud voice, "Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani?"—which means, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?"

(We maintain this is Brian calling out to Jesus:
http://vassago-vassago.blogspot.com/2009/03/crucifixion.html)

This of course is also a direct quote from Psalm 22. So it seems unlikely that, if JC was really up there, that He would have shouted this. Why would He be quoting a psalm? If if he was, wouldn't Psalm 23, The Lord Is My Shepherd, be more likely?

As for the thieves either side of Him, John doesn't record any dialogue between them.

M & M have the two thieves both mocking JC, but then they have him singing psalms as well.

(A lot of people think Matt is just a reip off of Mark anyway)

Luke is more concise when it comes to dialogue:

39One of the criminals who hung there hurled insults at him: "Aren't you the Christ? Save yourself and us!"

40But the other criminal rebuked him. "Don't you fear God," he said, "since you are under the same sentence? 41We are punished justly, for we are getting what our deeds deserve. But this man has done nothing wrong."

42Then he said, "Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom."

43Jesus answered him, "I tell you the truth, today you will be with me in paradise."

According to Luke Jesus speaks twice more:
34Jesus said, "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing."
And they divided up his clothes by casting lots.

And at the end:

44It was now about the sixth hour, and darkness came over the whole land until the ninth hour, 45for the sun stopped shining. And the curtain of the temple was torn in two. 46Jesus called out with a loud voice, "Father, into your hands I commit my spirit." When he had said this, he breathed his last.

At least they all agree on the hour.

Luke may well have been at the crucifixion, where M & M were not.
We know Luke was a real person of the time. He also wrote Acts, and accompanied Peter and Paul for a while.

The line from Psalm 22 about dividing his clothing gets quoted a lot.

18 They divide my garments among them
and cast lots for my clothing.

At least that's one thing they all agree on.