We have been taught that we must follow certain formulas and rules 

if we want to find god.

 We do not recognize that god is wherever we allow him/her to enter

 

No Water, No Moon

When the nun Chiyono studied Zen under Bukko of Engaku she was unable to attain the fruits of meditation for a long time.

At last one moonlit night she was carrying water in an old pail bound with bamboo. The bamboo broke and the bottom fell out of the pail, and at that moment Chiyono was set free!

In commemoration, she wrote a poem:

In this way and that I tried to save the old pail

Since the bamboo strip was weakening and about to break

Until at last the bottom fell out.

No more water in the pail!

No more moon in the water!

 Two roads diverged in a wood, 

and I -

I took the one less travelled by,

And that has made all the difference

 

You don’t choose your life; it chooses you.

 There’s no point asking why life has reserved certain joys or griefs,

 you just accept them and carry on. 

We can’t choose our lives, 

but we can decide what to do with the joys or griefs we’re given

 

Not Far from Buddhahood

A university student while visiting Gasan asked him: "Have you ever read the Christian Bible?"

"No, read it to me," said Gasan.

The student opened the Bible and read from St. Matthew: 

"And why take ye thought for rainment? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow. They toil not, neither do they spin, and yet I say unto you that even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these... Take therefore no thought for the morrow, for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself."

Gasan said: 

"Whoever uttered those words I consider an enlightened man."

The student continued reading: 

"Ask and it shall be given you, seek and ye shall find, knock and it shall be opened unto you. For everyone that asketh receiveth, and he that seeketh findeth, and to him that knocketh, it shall be opened."

Gasan remarked: "That is excellent. Whoever said that is not far from Buddhahood."

 

When Shoun was old he knew his end was approaching. He asked his disciples to gather around him in the morning, telling them he was going to pass on at noon. 

Burning incense before the picture of his mother and his old teacher, he wrote a poem:

For fifty-six years I lived as best I could,

Making my way in this world.

Now the rain has ended, the clouds are clearing,

The blue sky has a full moon.

His disciples gathered around him, reciting sutra, and Shoun passed on during the invocation.

 

Muddy Road

Tanzan and Ekido were once traveling together down a muddy road. A heavy rain was still falling.

Coming around a bend, they met a lovely girl in a silk kimono and sash, unable to cross the intersection.

"Come on, girl" said Tanzan at once. Lifting her in his arms, he carried her over the mud.

Ekido did not speak again until that night when they reached a lodging temple. Then he no longer could restrain himself. 

"We monks don't go near females," he told Tanzan, "especially not young and lovely ones. It is dangerous. Why did you do that?"

"I left the girl there," said Tanzan. "Are you still carrying her?"

 

has run away from everything and everybody 

and gone in search of a dream that doesn't exist

 

 Beginner's luck.

 the principle of favorability. 

When you play cards the first time, you are almost sure to win.


 there is a force that wants you to realize your destiny; 

it whets your appetite with a taste of success 

 

Buddha's Zen

Buddha said: 

"I consider the positions of kings and rulers as that of dust motes. 

I observe treasures of gold and gems as so many bricks and pebbles.

 I look upon the finest silken robes as tattered rags. 

I see myriad worlds of the universe as small seeds of fruit,

 and the greatest lake in India as a drop of oil on my foot.

 I perceive the teachings of the world to be the illusion of magicians.

 I discern the highest conception of emancipation as a golden brocade in a dream

, and view the holy path of the illuminated ones as flowers appearing in one's eyes.

 I see meditation as a pillar of a mountain,

 Nirvana as a nightmare of daytime.

 I look upon the judgment of right and wrong as the serpentine dance of a dragon, 

and the rise and fall of beliefs as but traces left by the four seasons."

 

Teaching the Ultimate

In early times in Japan, bamboo-and-paper lanterns were used with candles inside. A blind man, visiting a friend one night, was offered a lantern to carry home with him.

"I do not need a lantern," he said. "Darkness or light is all the same to me."

"I know you do not need a lantern to find your way," his friend replied, "but if you don't have one, someone else may run into you. So you must take it."

The blind man started off with the lantern and before he had walked very far someone ran squarely into him.

"Look out where you are going!" he exclaimed to the stranger. "Can't you see this lantern?"

"Your candle has burned out, brother," replied the stranger.

 

The Thief Who Became a Disciple

One evening as Shichiri Kojun was reciting sutras a thief with a sharp sword entered, demanding wither his money or his life.

Shichiri told him: "Do not disturb me. You can find the money in that drawer." Then he resumed his recitation.

A little while afterwards he stopped and called: "Don't take it all. I need some to pay taxes with tomorrow."

The intruder gathered up most of the money and started to leave. "Thank a person when you receive a gift," Shichiri added. The man thanked him and made off.

A few days afterwards the fellow was caught and confessed, among others, the offense against Shichiri. When Shichiri was called as a witness he said: "This man is no thief, at least as far as I am concerned. I gave him the money and he thanked me for it."

After he had finished his prison term, the man went to Shichiri and became his disciple.

 

 A Smile in His Lifetime

Mokugen was never known to smile until his last day on earth. When his time came to pass away he said to his faithful ones: "You have studied under me for more than ten years. Show me your real interpretation of Zen. Whoever expresses this most clearly shall be my successor and receive my robe and bowl."

Everyone watched Mokugen's severe face, but no one answered.

Encho, a disciple who had been with his teacher for a long time, moved near the bedside. He pushed forward the medicine cup a few inches. That was his answer to the command.

The teacher's face became even more severe. "Is that all you understand?" he asked.

Encho reached out and moved the cup back again.

A beautiful smile broke over the features of Mokugen. "You rascal," he told Encho. "You worked with me ten years and have not yet seen my whole body. Take the robe and bowl. They belong to you."

 

I never saw a man who looked

With such a wistful eye

Upon that little tent of blue

Which prisoners call the sky,

You have never been in love 

Until you have seen the dawn rise

Behind the Home for the Blind 

Warm wet circles

 

She nervously undressed in the dancing beams of the Fidra lighthouse
Giving it all away before it's too late
She'll let a lover's tongue move in a warm wet circle
Giving it all away, showing no shame

Giving away her virginity 

Sugar Mice

 

"I was laying in bed in the Holiday Inn and looking up at the ceiling at some hearts 'n' stuff that some lovers had carved, and I was feeling really down. So I rang my old lady but it was a bad phone call; lots of long silences. I felt even more depressed. Torch has run away from everything and everybody and gone in search of a dream that doesn't exist!"

"I love the lyrics on it as well. I wrote them in Milwaukee when we were out on a US tour. I ended up in some shit hotel, imagining what it would be like if somebody left their wife and kids in Scotland or whatever, and went half way across the world and ended up in a horrible hotel with a disgustingly sad bar downstairs. We checked in on a Sunday, and all you saw out the window was the dealers standing out on the corner, and that's kind of what the song was about."

"SINATRA, Frank (born 1915). The term bobby-soxers was first used in 1943-44 to identify the young audiences who sighed, squealed, sobbed, and swooned over Frankie Boy the original teen idol. Part of Frank Sinatra's appeal then was his vulnerable, slouchy look, and part was his way of caressing a lyric. He bent his voice like a trombone to develop an intimate style of provocative slurs and eccentric phrasing. Known to different generations as The Voice, Ol' Blue Eyes, and Chairman of the Board, he was a superstar for more than five decades."

Sugar Mice'
As seen on the cover, these are literally small, coloured mice made from sugar, with a string tail.

'Raincheck'
The original term was 'rain cheque'.

"A raincheck is something that is:
- given out at events when it rains, like a baseball game. Usually it means the game is being cancelled at the current time, and the raincheck will allow you into the rescheduled game.
- When you go to buy something at a store and it is on sale. If something is supposed to be on sale, but it's sold out, they can give you a raincheck to pick the item up later at the sale price. 
- When talking about social occasions, as in "Would you like to come over for a drink?" "No thanks, I'll take a raincheck" meaning either a) Can't do it right now, how about later. or b) a polite way of saying bugger off."


'Clutching at Straws'
A forlorn hope; 'A drowning man will catch at a straw'.

"Sugar Mice" is a melancholic song about a broken, alcoholic ex-husband drowning his sorrows in a bar. The title phrase—"sugar mice in the rain"—metaphorically describes human fragility and how easily lives dissolve into nothingness when exposed to life's harsh elements

The Deadbeat Father: The song is written from the perspective of an estranged father who calls his children, only to face painful questions about his absence and their loneliness

The Barfly: He spends his time isolated in a bar, listening to the jukebox, drinking, and accepting full blame for the ruin of his family life

Personal Parallel:

 Written by lead singer Fish, the track reflects deep personal regrets, isolation, and the emotional toll of touring and marital breakdown

Fragility: Sugar mice are cheap, fragile British novelty sweets with string tails that melt instantly in water.


Nihilism and Regret: Comparing people to sugar mice melting in the rain symbolizes how fragile human existence and relationships are.


Resignation: The narrator uses the phrase to comfort himself in his despair, accepting that everything is temporary and ultimately taking the blame entirely on his own shoulders 

Sugar Mice - Song by Marillion ‧ 1987

 

I was flicking through the channels on the TV
On a Sunday in Milwaukee in the rain
Trying to piece together conversations
Trying to find out where to lay the blame
But when it comes right down to it there's no use trying to pretend
For when it gets right down to it there's no one here that's left to blame
Blame it on me, you can blame it on me
We're just sugar mice in the rain

I heard Sinatra calling me through the floorboards
Where you pay a quarter for a partnership in rhyme
To the jukebox crying in the corner
While the waitress is counting out the time

For when it comes right down to it there's no use trying to pretend
For when it gets right down to it there's no one really left to blame
Blame it on me, you can blame it on me
We're just sugar mice in the rain

'Cause I know what I feel, know what I want I know what I am
Daddy took a raincheck
'Cause I know what I want, know what I feel I know what I need
Daddy took a raincheck, your daddy took a raincheck
Ain't no one in here that's left to blame but me
Blame it on me, blame it on me

Well the toughest thing that I ever did was talk to the kids on the phone
When I heard them asking questions I knew that you were all alone
Can't you understand that the government left me out of work
I just couldn't stand the looks on their faces saying, "What a jerk"

So if you want my address it's number one at the end of the bar
Where I sit with the broken angels clutching at straws and nursing our scars
Blame it on me, blame it on me,
Sugar mice in the rain, your daddy took a raincheck

Clutching at Straws

 

The character of Torch (supposedly a descendant of the Jester from earlier album sleeves) is a 29-year-old out-of-work man whose life is a mess. He seeks comfort mostly in alcohol to numb himself. He is trying, but failing, to forget what lies at his feet—a failed marriage, being a deadbeat father, and his lack of commercial success as a singer in a band. As he gets drunk, he also writes about his surroundings and his laments. Since Torch has no other real outlet at his disposal, he ends up in bars, hotel rooms, and on the road, screaming and drunk, thus, he is described as beyond redemption or hope.

The front and back covers of the album describe Fish's inspiration for the album's lyrics as well as some of his heroes. There are allusions to them throughout the album. The setting is in a British pub (the Bakers Arms in Colchester), and the people represented are the following:

• On the front from left to right: Robert Burns, Dylan Thomas, Truman Capote and Lenny Bruce
• 
  
• On the back from left to right: John Lennon, James Dean and Jack Kerouac

Warm Wet Circles

The Bar Ring:  the phrase literally describes the wet condensation circles left by drinking glasses on a pub table, which a barman wipes away at closing time. It symbolizes wasted time, idle dreams, and the empty repetition of small-town life

Tracing Condensation:  a young girl traces her lover's name through condensation on a window, capturing fleeting adolescent romance and innocence 

The Cycle of Experience: The song links the phrase to various recurring shapes and cycles in life—engagement rings, pool balls, headlights, cigarette smoke, a mother’s comforting kiss on a broken heart, and even a destructive bullet hole

Intimacy and Pain: The "warm wet circle" ultimately represents the dual nature of human connection and physical intimacy. It is simultaneously a source of deep comfort (like a mother's kiss) and profound vulnerability or pain, capturing the bittersweet reality of growing up and losing innocence 

"This song's about small, home town stuff; the dangers of getting trapped in the 9:00 to 5:00 syndrome and then going down to the pub and talking about things you'll never really do, y'know, "I'd love to drive a Cadillac across America or backpack over the Himalayas". And the local hero's the best darts' player and you marry the girl you met in the pub at 16. Torch goes back to his old haunts and sees how he used to be and it scares him. And he watches all the drunks in the bar late at night tracing the circles from their glasses with their fingers - alcoholics always do that!"

'A honeymoon gambled on a ricochet'
In the edition of Fish on Friday broadcast on Facebook 24/03/23,Fish recounted how pool players in his local, the Quarterdeck pub on Westgate, North Berwick, would gamble significant sums of money on their pool skills, money that was often earmarked for other purposes and whose loss might reasonably be assumed would not be taken well

In that same edition of Fish on Friday, Fish revealed that the telephone boxes, far from the classic British telephone boxes many might have imagined from the lyric, were actually booths in the wall of the Post Office opposite the Quarterdeck. The Quarterdeck is now the Herringbone and the booths appear to have been upgraded recently, but can still be seen

Bullet hole in Central Park'
Ex-Beatle, recovering-heroin addict, recovering-alcoholic, John Winston Lennon was shot dead by crazed 'fan' Mark Chapman, 8 December. Lennon was just returning to his apartment in the Dakota Building overlooking New York's Central Park. At the time of his death, he was about to release a new album that looked set to rehabilitate him after years in the wilderness, and was back on speaking terms with Paul McCartney after many years estrangement. A memorial to Lennon called Strawberry Fields is in Central Park near the Dakota.

Fidra Lighthouse'
Jeroen Schipper's FAQ: "Fidra is a small rocky island just off the coast of East Lothian (East of Edinburgh, Scotland). There is a nature reserve on this part of the coast and is the type of place that people go "to be together" and alone. It's a beautiful area. There is a small automatic lighthouse on the island."

Warm Wet Circles - Song by Marillion ‧ 1987

 

On promenades where drunks propose to lonely arcade mannequins
Where ceremonies pause at the jewellers shop display
Feigning casual silence in strained romantic interludes
Till they commit themselves to the muted journey home

And the pool player rests on another cue
Last nights hero picking up his dues
A honeymoon gambled on a ricochet
She's staring at the brochures at the holidays
Chalking up a name in your hometown
Standing all your mates to another round
Laughing at the world till the barman wipes away the warm wet circles

The warm wet circles

I saw teenage girls like gaudy moths
A classroom's shabby butterflies
Flirt in the glow of stranded telephone boxes

Planning white lace weddings from smeared hearts
And token proclamations
Rolled from stolen lipsticks across the razored webs of glass

Sharing cigarettes with experience
With her giggling jealous confidantes
She faithfully traces his name
With quick bitten fingernails

Through the tears of condensation
That'll cry through the night
As the glancing headlights of the last bus
Kiss adolescence goodbye

In a warm wet circle
Like a mothers kiss on your first broken heart
A warm wet circle
Like a bullet hole in Central Park
A warm wet circle
And I'll always surrender
To the warm wet circles

She nervously undressed in the dancing beams of the Fidra lighthouse
Giving it all away before it's too late
She'll let a lover's tongue move in a warm wet circle
Giving it all away, showing no shame
She'll take a mother's kiss on her first broken heart
A warm wet circle
She'll realise that she played her part
In a warm wet circle

 

When you repeat a mistake, 

it is not a mistake anymore: 

it is a decision

Friday August 28: Sturgeon Moon

 

Friday August 28: 

Sturgeon Moon

 

When faced with a loss, it is no use trying to recover what has gone. 

On the other hand, a great space has been opened up in your life 

- there it lies, empty, waiting to be filled with something new.

 At the moment of one’s loss, 

contradictory as this might seem, 

one is being given a large slice of freedom

 

Stay close to those who sing, tell stories, and enjoy life, 

and whose eyes sparkle with happiness. 

Because happiness is contagious and will always manage to find a solution, 

whereas logic can find only an explanation for the mistake made

Matrix

 

It is stated that Kid is the only person who ever did this 

Then we have Dan Davis in World Record 

So did Dan waking up on that table count before he was put back in 

It is stated as canon about Kid - yet we have Dan's story right next to it

At the end of Vanilla Sky he jumps off the building so he wake up from the simulation 

Makes you think how many people have tried it