The Crucifixion

It's pretty obvious Jesus wasn't on the cross.

What would be the point of getting himself banged up (the origin of the expression, by the way) when he would have plenty of volunteers to die in his place?

So the Romans turn up to arrest Him. They don't know what He looks like - there's at least a dozen Jews there with big noses and beards, so they all look pretty much the same to the Romans. So Judas has been paid to identify Him. What nobody knows is that Judas has been told by JC to identify a ringer - let's call him Brian (as in Life Of).

So Brian is taken off to be whipped, stripped and crucified.

Jesus was at the crucifixion alright - he was in the crowd watching.

Depending on which version of the Gospel you read, Brian is meant to have shouted various things to the people in the front row or next to him. He might have spoken to Mary and John, he might have spoken to Dismas, he might have quoted some lines from the Psalms or Isiah.
But the only thing he cried out loud that was heard by everyone was
"My Lord, Why have you forsaken me?!"

This is not JC calling out to God - it's Brian calling to Jesus.

If Jesus, the Son of God, was really on the cross and His Father was waiting to take Him, He wouldn't have called out about being forsaken.

Jesus and Mary went off to start a new life in France. And who can blame them?